New Year, New You, Newfound Integrity.

Happy 2018 and WELCOME to the launch of DassonVogue. I cannot tell you how excited I am to unveil what I’ve been daydreaming about for almost a year. Last January, mid-shift at a restaurant on the Upper West Side, where I was feeling completely crushed by life and trapped by food allergies and peoples horrendous dinner etiquette, I made a promise to myself to not work a day job that would make me lose sight of my dreams, drain my soul, and leave me unhappy in my life and the relationships I cherish.  Within 2 weeks of the New Year, I got myself out of the restaurant industry and embarked on a new journey within the fashion industry. Little did I know how much happiness this new job would bring me and how it would inspire me to fulfill hidden dreams that I didn’t even realize existed. 

2017 was a year of exploration, a year self-assessment, and a year of finding my long lost self. On this journey I was able to gain clarity on what I want from my life and what matters most to me. Some days this mentality went straight down the tubes as I quickly reverted back to old habits in times of stress and fear, but I had many days worth smiling about. Throughout 2017, I kept joking about starting a styling business and offering up my two cents on etiquette for today’s world, because lord knows the world could use a wake up call. For those of you who know me, my mouth is my best and worst asset, as it has absolutely no filter whatsoever. To some its comical, to some its shocking, and to some its downright off-putting; but to me, its completely on brand and I make no apologies. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and I am ok with that. I don’t expect to be nor do I want to be. I am brutally honest but extremely loyal and my heart is full of love. Whether you continue reading or not is your choice but I hope I’ve sparked your interest. 

The goal of this blog is to share with you fashion and styling tips, mindless and silly gossip (if you’re a housewives fan, you will love this blog), and give you my two cents on etiquette from the perspective of a twenty-something. I have many opinions, and like anything in life, opinions are subjective. Take them to heart, take them with a grain of salt; you do you. I promise I won’t be offended. 

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to use my first post about and it seems right to start the New Year off with an Etiquette Tip about “Integrity”. What is integrity, you ask? WELL, according to ME, it means, “Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t be an ass.”  It’s truly amazing to me how little people seem to care about integrity today…maybe its not so much about “not caring” but more so about being completely unaware of how they come across to other people. I have caught myself saying many times, “when did we stop remembering how to act like decent human beings?” Maybe living in New York City allows me to see how wrapped up we all can be in ourselves and our day to day lives but I’m amazed by how we have forgotten the simplest things like waiting in line, holding the door open for someone, respecting personal space, being conscious of those around us…the list could go on and on and on. You get the point. But back to my original point –we as people need to be more conscious of our interactions with others when it comes to friendship, business, and love. We need to be conscious of the words we use and how we choose to use them to communicate what we truly want from others. The follow through and ownership of ones actions needs to be existent, verses existent when it’s convenient. In the words of one of my favorite Housewives of Beverly Hills, “Own it! Just OWN it!” (To catch Lisa Rinna serving truths and leopard print, tune into Bravo TV on Tuesday nights, 9 pm, EST…but I digress.)

And how do we work on this? Easy. 

Communication. Communication is by far the most important thing to any relationship. While it seems like a no-brainer, it is one of the hardest things for anyone to do well. Shocking, really, because we as a generation of people are so attached to our cellphones, which are our lifelines to others in the world. Our cellphones allow us to instantly be “connected”, no matter what kind of connection it may be. Hiding behind a device allows us to feel safe –it relieves putting yourself in the line of fire for conflict and the excuse of, “oh, I didn’t see your message until now” is one that we have all favored one time or another…or maybe time and time again. The crazy thing in all of this is that we as people are so addicted to reporting our life stories on Snapchat and Instagram that we don’t even think about the trail we leave behind for all to see. 

For example, if you have plans with a friend for dinner and you cancel because you have a “headache”, please don’t be a moron and post to your IG Story with other friends, an hour or two later, with the caption, “#SQUADDINNERGOALS”.

Or, if you get into an argument with someone over text, handle it there or offer to meet in person, rather than take to your IG Story with a vague, passive-aggressive post titled, “Night-Time Thoughts”.

My personal favorite is when you text someone and there is no response.

I am guilty of this as well and it is in these moments when it is done to me that I am reminded of how shitty it is to leave someone hanging. We can be better people! We all make choices in this life and sometimes choosing to deal with the awkward situation is the right choice to make. Sure, so-and-so might not like hearing that you have to cancel your plans because you forgot about another set of plans, but at least you can walk away knowing that you were honest and true to yourself. At the end of the day, so-and-so will respect you more for your honesty but also have a better understanding of what to expect from your relationship. We often have a skewed vision of what realistic expectations are of those around us because 90% of the time the terms are not properly laid out. If we took time to choose our words wisely and communicate our truths, I guarantee there would be less conflict and the relationships in our lives, no matter what kind they are, would be easier to navigate and be a part of. 

All of this to say, be conscious of your actions and how you represent yourself in this life. There is no reason as to why you can’t be the best version of yourself and hold yourself to a higher standard. Some days you will make everyone happy and some days you’ll feel like you can’t make anyone happy. We were not put onto this earth to please at all times of the day. I challenge you to spend a day or two taking in your surroundings as you're traveling about in your day-to-day life. See something new, feel something different, choose to be present; lead with integrity and be the person you want to be.